Saturday, October 4, 2008

Like a bridge over troubled water...


The last few weeks have been a journey through my past. Through conversations with old friends and "new", I am discovering not only who I am, but who my true friends really are. The memories being relived, back and forth, are revealing. Between what I remember and what a friend remembers, we stitch together pieces of our past that may have been forgotten, but which suddenly explain certain events and their outcomes.

This process is also revealing to me my choices in life and the different path I seem to have always taken given my parent's lifestyle and the choices they made. Moving around as a Navy brat, constantly entering and leaving neighborhoods/friendships/schools/states made for an abbreviated grasp on the meaning of long term relationships. I have lived in Paris longer than I have lived anywhere else in my life. And I'm not French! It's not my culture, nor my country, background or language, and yet... here I am.

I am discovering (I think I have a little more learning to do on this subject!) that certain people who I thought I could count on are not at all who I thought they were. That is a huge disappointment to me. And others, relationships built slowly over time, have proved to be more than I ever thought they could be; I thank you for that. In your heart, you know who you are.

This has been a difficult journey. There have been tears, a lot of self-reflection and questioning of who I am on my part. I know this is a journey I can only make on my own. And I know that when the end of this particular path comes to its fork, I will have learned more about me and I will be ready to make my next move with strength and confidence.

I have a lot to go through in the next coming months. Life changes combined with today's climate of economic incertitude... I'll need to know who my friends really are.

Sail on silver girl...