Wednesday, October 6, 2010

There are places I remember...


The prompt to write this is from an article a friend posted on FB. She said she was bullied as a child. I understand that. I know how it feels, except that, I was not so much bullied. More bulldozed.

I spent my young life as a Navy brat, moving from state to state, changing schools, adapting to new situations and while doing so, knowing that at a certain point in time, it would happen yet again and I'd have to rebuild a whole new set of friends and reference points. Oddly, I always envied the kids who came in from an overseas post, not speaking English, or not fluent enough, who got tossed into the system to survive. I wondered if it was easier for them, to have that barrier of language to hide behind? Is it any wonder I had no qualms about moving to a new country, not knowing the language or having a deep seated passion to be here? My life would have been a lot simpler had I stayed in the US. Conversely, I never would have met the people I have, nor would I have learned the skills I did. That bulldozer was a blessing in disguise.

I have a lot going on right now. A divorce. This blog is being called into court. (Please read all the posts and you will know who I am.) My son turns 19 tomorrow. I am grateful for every moment I get to spend with him. He has his own set of circumstances that he is going through. However, it is his story to tell when he is ready.

After many years of being on my own, I fell in love. It ended abruptly, leaving me to wonder too many things about me, and who I am. I have been rebuilding my life this past year. It has really sucked at times, but it has also been a revelation for me to know what is important and why.

With that comes empowerment, and doubt, and retrospection, and hope. There have been days when it took every thing I had to rise, shine and give it my glory glory... And other days, when it was great to be alive. I must sound like a total schizophrenic. Trust me. I'm not so bad!

I thought I would be in a different place today. In a way, I am. And now I can move forward. With a lot of hard work, things are looking up. I look forward to the challenges and opportunities I am being presented with. And, I am truly thankful for the real friends I have in my life. You all mean so much to me. Even with letting go of the past, it is also important to keep a memory or two of faith, hope and love from that past. To know where you came from, and how you got here. There are several people I can say this to...

In my life, I'll love you more...

4 comments:

scrapmadness said...

Thanks for allowing me to read this Dianne. I hope your life improves more and more each day.

scrapmadness said...

Oh and I just had to say, I loved Flat Stanley when I was a child. :o)

QBParis said...

Thank you, scrap! Love to you and yours! xo

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